The self-help genre has been going through a period of boom for the past couple of decades. Visit a library or book shop and the resources available stretch shelf upon shelf. Then add in the YouTube videos, courses, websites and podcasts, and we are spoilt for choice when it comes to finding our Next Few Steps.
Researching the answer to a specific problem has never been easier compared to the rest of human history. You want to find out how to treat a fungal infection – check a website and see a doctor. You are needing help with your tax returning? Phone the tax office or speak to any number of financial experts on 24/7 chat or the other end of a phone. Not sure how to market your tanning business? There are gurus and websites, video and courses for absolutely everything you could ever possibly want to know.
As long as you know what you want to know!
However, on the other side of the coin, with such a plethora of amazing but often conflicting information on tap, it can be overwhelming to know where to start if you don’t know…where to start!
There are two types of people who often struggle with this problem: the self-help junkies who have become addicted to consuming self-help information without taking action, and those at the beginning of their self-help journey and who are over-awed by the amount of information out there.
The first group, are practically experts in many self-help topics. They have read some of the classic literature, even more contemporary works, subscribed to dozens of podcasts and logged more YouTube video hours than an average teenager’s annual first-person-shooter screen time.
The second group have yet to be properly introduced to the world of self-help. Yes, they have common sense in spades and yes, they have been around the block enough times to know a thing or two about how the world works – but as for the psychological tricks of the trade, they are far less comfortable with.
Regular Joes and Josephines who are new to the self-help genre may be easily overwhelmed by all the conflicting advice about where to start:
“You need to start with time management!”
“Nope, reading this book on productivity is the first step!”
“Nonsense! Take this course on the law of attraction!”
“Stop! Juicing and spiralizing is definitely the way forward!”
It can be a minefield to know where to start. You are my kind of peeps!
So where can we get an idea about our best Next Few Steps?
Well, there is a solution. It’s the lifestyle matrix, taken from my light-hearted but effective course ‘Couch to 5 Yays!’
Here we go! Excited? Well, prepare to have both your socks thoroughly knocked off and strap in tight for one utterly life-changing ride you are about to embark on!
We start with the most brilliantly, scintillatingly and awe-inspiringly simple lifestyle assessment tool and goal setting method called the ‘Lifestyle Matrix’. Yes, it’s a graph!
But not any old graph! This one has 5 arms (WHAT?!?!?), each one representing an important facet of your life. Each arm has 5 nodes (…get me! Nodes! And I only just passed Maths GCSE!) which relate to the 5 statements in each core area of your life.
Firstly, read through each of the 5 core areas below and tick off any of the statements that you feel already apply to your life (Go you!). Then, for each tick in that category, colour one node on the Matrix in one of your 5 favourite colours. (I usually plump for watermelon, puce, aquamarine, Tyrian purple and gloucous, in case you’re wondering. No, I know you weren’t)
5 by 5 – Core Area Statements
Core Area 1: Time
o I feel I have enough time in my days for everything I want to do
o I am usually prepared and on time for different events during the day
o I usually know where everything is (paperwork, keys, projects etc.)
o I have time to spend consuming (anything that is an input in your life – food, drink, TV, knowledge, social media etc.)
o I have time to spend producing (anything that is a creative output in your life – painting, music, writing, a business venture, etc.)
Core Area 2: Money
o I make more money than I spend each month
o I have hardly any ‘holes’ in my financial bucket (ie. I have checked that money doesn’t flow out of my bank account inefficiently without me knowing about it)
o I have a nest-egg that would cover small disasters
o I have enough savings to pay for rainy days, treats and holidays
o I invest in assets for the future rather than liabilities
Core Area 3: Relationships
o I have a strong relationship with my parents/siblings/extended family
o I have a strong relationship with my significant other and feel I can be myself around them (if applicable)
o I have a strong two-way relationship with my dependants/children (if applicable)
o I have a strong relationship with close friends I could call upon at any time
o I have a good network of friends, colleagues and acquaintances I could ask for help
Core Area 4: Health
o I generally eat and drink healthily
o I exercise at least 150 minutes per week
o I am happy with my body shape, size and weight
o I feel happy and have enough energy most of the time
o I feel I am managing any medical conditions well (if applicable)
Core Area 5: Self-Care/Stress
o I feel in control of my life and its direction
o I cope with challenges well and do not feel overwhelmed
o I generally have confidence that I can achieve what I set out to do and my self-talk is generally positive
o I set aside time to attend to my own needs
o My energy reserves are full enough to give to others
There. That wasn’t too hard was it?
For each of the ticks, colour in a node on the associated arm of the Lifestyle Matrix below. As you colour, start with the small circle nearest the sad face in the centre and work outwards towards the smiley face. This exercise will help you to quickly gauge how satisfied you are in the different core areas of your life.
It’s a great visual prompt to allow you to see your current position and where changes could be made.
The Lifestyle Matrix – Starting Snapshot
Once you have done this, use the graph as a quick snapshot of where you are now.
Now you are going to focus on any statements that you didn’t tick. Choose the 5 that you would most like to work on – one from each core area. If you are perfectly content and have ticked everything in one core area, choose 2 from another core area to work on.
Write these 5 statements below in the Goal Setting Chart, one for each core area. These are the areas you will start to work on in the first few weeks of your journey. These will be your North Star, your shining light or your Millennium Falcon as it engages its hyper-drive to traverse the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. (Bloody auto-correct again. I need to get this fixed!)
Then choose the one ‘next step’ that you could do to move you closer to this goal. For example, if it is to strengthen a relationship, could you phone that person up, arrange to go out for a drink or food, or send them a note telling them you are thinking about them? Your next step would probably feel very personal to you.
Remember, this process of reaching a goal might take you mere minutes or you may not finish it for years, so focus only on the next step. Once that has been achieved, find the next, next step and then the following one, always bringing you nearer to each core goal.
If you are struggling to define your next step, you may like to mind map a variety of next steps and then choose the one that seems the best. Then if it turns out to be a dud, you have alternatives to work on after that.
Alternatively, in Appendix 1 of the course ‘Couch to 5 Yays!, you can find a bank of possible next steps for each statement that you might like to use to get you started.
Goal Setting Chart
| Goal 1: Time | |
| Next step | |
| Goal 2: Money | |
| Next step | |
| Goal 3: Relationships | |
| Next step | |
| Goal 4: Health | |
| Next Step | |
| Goal 5: Self Care/Stress | |
| Next step |
Now you have an idea about where you are heading, it’s time to get into action. If you decide to take the ‘Couch to 5 Yays!’ course, you will be bubbling over with excitement and motivation will be dripping out of your earlobes. You need no encouragement; in fact you feel invincible!
However, motivation is biologically designed to wane over time – you couldn’t live your life constantly pumped, with adrenaline coursing through your blood stream 24-7. It’s just not a healthy way to live. When this happens (and notice that I use ‘when’, not ‘if’ deliberately), rely on your ongoing commitment to progress to a richer, more satisfying life.
Then think about the cost of NOT putting in the effort. Your fascinating book on mollusc farming in the Outer Hebrides will never get written, and you will never be an author. Your relationships will be less satisfying, your stress levels will remain raised, your bank account will be pitiful. You’ll stay as the ‘You, version 1.0’. We’re looking for at least ‘You, v 2.0!’
Don’t think about it too hard (or at all) – as the well-known sports-wear brand commands: Just do it!
If you have completed the steps laid out in this analysis of your current life situation, you should now be clearer about which parts of your life you are satisfied with and which need a little tweak here and there.
The course, Couch to 5 Yays! has a detailed, daily planner where every day, you work on between 1 and 3 tasks. Most are simple, although not always easy, and take between 2 and 30 minutes. However, most days one of your tasks gives you time to work on the 3-5 specific goals you identified in the Lifestyle Matrix task.
By following the 9 week course, you will feel much more control over your life, your environment and your relationships. You also have developed a strong foundation for taking on more challenging goals due to the habits you have embedded into your life.
If you found the Lifestyle Matrix assessment useful and would like to find out more about the course ‘Couch to 5 Yays!’, find the link on the blog home page.
Which area of your life do you think is the most important at this time? Share you thoughts with us below!